Stars Don't Shine In Two Of A Kind
NEW YORK - Can it really have been that difficult to find a passable screen vehicle for John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John? Any old romantic fluff should have sufficed, and yet something as horrible as “Two of a Kind” has been tailor-made for its stars.
The results are so disastrous that absolutely no one is shown off to good advantage, with the possible exception of the hairdressers involved. The coiffures don’t always upstage the material, but when they do. It’s a blessing “Two of a Kind” has a plot that supposedly originates in heaven.
God (with voice supplied by Gene Hackman, who had the good sense to go uncredited, are all set to destroy the world, when a band of angels (including Beatrice Straight, Charles Durning and Scatman Crothers) involve him in a wager. If the two selfish earthlings played by Travolta and Newton-John can somehow become better people and if they can fall in love the world will be saved.
Those may not sound like very high stakes, but in view of the characters the two stars play, the bet seems virtually unwinnable. Travolta plays an unsuccessful inventor, who keeps a poster of Einstein on his wall; Newton- John is a bank teller with Queen Elizabeth on her wall (clearly, the set designer has worked overtime).
“Two of a Kind,” which marks the directing debut of John Herzfeld, seems utterly rootless, geographically and otherwise. It’s not even clear what city we’re supposed to be seeing; one car chase begins in Manhattan and then appears to shift to some boulevard in Los Angeles, which has been relabeled “83rd Street.”
Far more damaging is the fact that no element of reality has been allowed to intrude on the pure show business superficiality of the exercise. The film is so synthetic that when the Devil (Oliver Reed) and the angels do battle, they use today’s home-video techniques for their weaponry. “Freeze,” cries one side, and the action stops. “Fast-Forward!” cries the other. “Rewind!”
Not even the most ardent Travolta or Newton-John fans are liable to like the stars’ notions of how these characters should behave. Travolta has nothing better to do here than he did in “Staying Alive”; these have been two of a kind for him, and a third could be calamitous.
Newton-John makes a very unconvincing young career girl, and the fact that’s she’s also supposed to be an aspiring actress leads to dialogue about her dramatic talents that is, under the circumstances, embarrassing.
By Janet Maslin, New York Times