Olivia on Andy Gibb's After Dark album
Andy Gibb gets vocal help from The Newt
and older brothers on After Dark
album
by Joel Menally
Know this, my children, the sins of youth will come back to haunt you. There are things that I have done. Things that I am not proud of.
Early on when I embarked upon a life of listening to music for a living. I made a decision to try to build up my own career at the expense of an unfortunate, young woman. She was a slight young thing named Olivia Newton-John. I pummelled this skinny, little blonde giri mercilessly. I even had a vicious name for her that I thought was real cute. It was the Newt.
Obviously this torment was too much for her. She hasn’t been heard from since except for an occasional appearance in a movie like Grease
that hardly anybody went to see. The reason this comes up is that obviously my conscience is starting to trouble me.
I was trying to relax the other night by listening to an album by one of the great all-time vocal stylists, Andy Gibb. What to my wondering ears should appear, but the vocal oozings of Ms. Newton-John.
The album is called “After Dark” (RSO) and it goes without saying that it is destined to become another Junior Grade Bee Gees classic.
But the shocking thing is the broken woman that Ms. Newton-John obviously has become.
She and Mr. Gibb do a couple of love duets. But the most striking is called “I Can’t Help It.”
It is a heart-wrenching tune. The two of them are obviously in such misery as they morn pathetically that no one could fail to be moved by pity.
The styles of Olivia and Andy complement each other perfectly. Both appear to be afflicited by the same respiratory ailment which causes them to breathe songs. Sometimes for a change of pace, they sign them. When Gibb is performing away from the poor, unfortunate Ms. Newton-John, he manages to pull himself together a little bit.
In fact, half of the album is made up of catchy, upbeat dance tunes that are sure to start your toe a-tapping.
They are on a very original theme that I don’t think has ever been attempted in disco before. They all seem to have something to do with being on fire.
The other half of the album is the hosed-down Andy Gibb. Those are the slow, tender ballads designed to go with the $3 reproduction of “one of Andy’s best moods” which is available with the handy order blank inside the album ($12.95 for a genuine pseudo-oil reproduction.)
Andy’s older brothers, who sometimes get work on their own as the Bee Gees, join Andy on a song called “Desire.” They do their famous vocal impression of violins tuning up. That may not seem so impressive, but they do it while drinking a glass of water. It just shows what a truly great star Andy Gibb is that he is willing to give employment to the over-the-hill members of his family.
But an even greater act of charity is the way he is using his status to help rehabilitate Ms. Newton-John. It looks like a long road back. It will be some time before she is restored to full whine.
But tonight let’s all take time to remember her in our prayers. This is not an easy time. She is obviously in a lot of pain.
All I can say is: I’m sorry, you old Newt you. Now get out ta here.